Live and let live

Is it woke or is it just being chill?

Have you seen the new (and controversial) Chris Rock Netflix special, Selective Outrage? I’ve had a few conversations about it and, to summarize the overall thoughts, parts are hilarious and also why are we still making jokes about trans people!? WHY!? It is 2023. Are we still (in our coastal elite bubbles, anyway) shocked by fluid and open definitions of gender? Trans jokes are, at their very best, stale and over-done. At their worst, they’re horribly transphobic and damaging. Is there really nothing better to joke about? (Looking straight at you, Chappelle.)

I didn’t feel woke when I rolled my eyes and nearly hit fast forward through Chris Rock’s whole trans bit. I felt bored. It’s not the point of stand up comedy to make everyone feel connected, warm, and fuzzy. But the best stand-up is at least relevant, right? It pushes the envelope. It makes us see things that we know to be true but maybe hadn’t articulated. That doesn’t mean it must be new, but it should at least be bold and fresh. And, what’s more, it mocks everyone equally. We should all be on the chopping block; nobody should be safe from the glare of a good stand up comedian, including themselves. Trans people have had more than their fair share.

Interestingly, in the same breath as these chats about Selective Outrage (which again, had some really funny bits), it’s also come up that we have a long and ever-growing list of labels for things that we once just recognized as ‘quirks’ or personalities. My son’s struggling with a few things in the classroom lately and half of me wants to diagnose him as being seven years old, but the other half can recognize that naming and understanding his specific struggles can help him overcome them. There are thousands of different parenting styles (e.g. “free-range,” “child-led,” “shitty”), each with their own name or -ism. There are annoying labels for any number of food preferences-turned-diets (flexitarianism, anyone?) and an eye-opening number of sexualities (heteroflexible, for example, is a thing and it means “mostly straight”).

Is it woke or a side effect of being more accepting? Are these names and labels helping or hurting? Sometimes we are way too woke. And yet, is it really ‘overly sensitive’ to feel deeply fucking tired of trans jokes? Is it woke to want everyone to get over individuals’ pronouns? Like, move on; saying they/them is not hard. Sound it out.

Is it woke to be physically unable to watch Louis CK or Woody Allen anymore? Maybe it is! Is it over-diagnosing (not to mention privileged!) to name and label things about our kids, our parenting styles, our sexualities? The best case scenario is that people who felt marginalized or misunderstood before feel seen and understood now. Worst case is that you have to endure someone explaining they don’t eat meat on Tuesdays because they’re a flexitarian. (That’s what flexitarianism is, right?)

What I think we ultimately want is to live and let live, love and let love, be and let be… but make it funny. Can we all agree on that?

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Catching up…

I recently booked a client at this insanely cool hotel in Costa Rica… don’t you just want to go immediately?

Breaking news: I have a new celebrity crush.

A very good, very wise friend recommended Cunk on Earth and if you haven’t yet seen it, my god it’s so fucking funny. Five star, bone dry British humor. For example, “it’s almost unbelievable that before Charles Darwin invented evolution in 1859 no had ever evolved.”

Gender fluidity is a) not difficult to wrap one’s head around and b) not new.

Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch, among others, have urged the UN to intervene on abortion rights in the US.

I forget how I came across this recipe for calabacitas con queso, but I am drooling. To over-simplify, it reads like a Mexican take on ratatouille and (sorry!) a version I’d probably prefer.

I came across this gorgeous roast chicken with olives recipe thanks to TikTok and I will be making asap.

One of my best friends had a big birthday recently and had PDX-based artist Karlee Patton at her party, drawing ‘bad portraits’ of each and every guest. Here’s my perfect one:

Some of my favorite comedy specials on Netflix (I haven’t seen ALL of them): Bo Burnham’s Inside, Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette, Taylor Tomlinson’s Quarter Life Crisis, Chris Rock’s Tamborine, Iliza Schlessinger’s Elder Millennial and Unveiled, Seth Meyers’ Lobby Baby, Neal Brennan’s 3 Mics and Blocks, Tig Notaro’s Happy to Be Here, Hasan Minhaj’s Homecoming King, Ali Wong’s Baby Cobra… there’s lots I’ve missed but those are top of the pops in my opinion.

Angelenos, take note: Offhand is a cool & cute wine bar with a delish list and great music, despite being in a very random location. I am eager to try the new Bar Cou Cou on Main Street and Yahir in Mar Vista. You heard it here first(ish), the west side is finally getting cool shit again! Take that, eastsiders!

Lastly…

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Signing off with love to everyone equally, except for people who think it’s acceptable to go barefoot on airplanes.

xoxo,

Nicole